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I’m the kind of sports fan who wishes that ESPN 8 (the Ocho) was an actual channel.  I love learning about sports I didn’t even know existed.  As long as there’s at least two people competing for some sort of trophy, I’m probably going to watch.  That’s why the Olympics are great, and it’s the winter games that I enjoy the most.  Sure, there’s plenty more stuff to see at the summer games, but I’m more about the idea of pushing yourself to the limit in the cold and ice than in nice sunny weather.  Don’t believe me?  Well, here’s my top five winter Olympic events.

I find this photo slightly arousing.

For one, the biathlon is a sport that I’m especially fond of.  I love to watch all of the cross-country skiing events, but I usually find myself saying, “You know what this race needs?  Guns.”  And BAM, there you have it, the biathlon.  I first learned about this sport from the classic C64 game, Winter Games from Epyx and I was stunned.  Who thought this up?  Wasn’t there a James Bond movie that started with Sean Connery jumping out of a helicopter onto a ski-slope?  Was it even Connery?  Well, it was thought up by the Norwegian army.  Good thinking.  After all, how are you going to defend yourself against invading Swedes?

Speed skating is another fave.  My first Olympic memory is seeing it during the ‘88 games.  I might’ve even seen Dan Jansen wipe out.  I just thought it was cool as hell to see someone skate so fast with what seemed to be minimal effort.  These days, the short track is what gets me pumped.  It’s like rollerball or something.  In my experience, making a sport faster and smaller in scale will usually make it better in some ways.  Look at arena football.  Yeah, I said it.

"No shotgun, you're all sitting in the backseat. Stop kicking your brother."

Fast pace is a recurring theme at the winter Olympics.  Try the bobsled.  It combines the luge (which I think is stupid, whether someone died last week or not) and soapbox derby racing (which I think is awesome), and adds a teamwork element.  You end up getting a sport that’s just dangerous enough to think “Those guys are crazy” but in a sled that looks like a nuclear submarine.

TOOOOOOMBAAAAAAAAAAAA

Downhill skiing is the best kind of skiing, whether you’ve got guns or not, but if pressed, I’d say that it’s the slalom that I love the most.  Nobody did it better than the immortal Alberto Tomba, and he’d be the first to tell you.  These days, though, the skiers fly down the hill so fast that I wonder how a human being can go that fast on snow and ice and not die every single time.  Bode Miller wipes out a lot in the Olympics, but he stays alive, so I guess that has to be worth something.

And of course, I’m sure you could guess what my favorite thing about the winter Olympics is…

Do you believe in a career in motivational speaking? YES!

I love da hockey, and when da hockey is good, I ain’t complainin’.  I can understand when people still grumble about keeping the Olympics as an “amateurs only” competition, but let’s be honest.  If the NBA is allowed to send the Dream Team to the games to (more often than not) destroy the competition every four years, then other team sports should get to do it, too.  Since the NHL has been allowing its best players to represent their countries, there’s been no doubt about who’s got the most talent.  The league didn’t even bother to have an All Star Game this season.  Why have one game with two teams when you could have several teams play for two weeks… in Vancouver, of all places!  From where I’m standing, I’m thinking that the final four this time around will be the U.S.A., Canada, Russia, and Sweden.  After that, who knows, but if the Americans keep playing like they did against Canada the other night, we might have another miracle on our hands.

I’m Morgan Freeman for Visa, and I’ll see you… at the games.

The last time I posted about the Bruins, they had just won the Winter Classic in exciting fashion and were looking to start a second-half push to the playoffs.  A month later, key players went down with injuries and we lost ten excruciating games in a row.  Slowly but surely, the likes of Lucic, Savard, and Ference made their way back to the ice and beat the Canadiens a week ago in Montreal.  Three more wins after that, and the B’s are right back in the thick of it, seventh place in the conference and, for the most part, resting up over the Olympic break.

Baaaack in the saddle agaaaain!

All during the bleak month of January, there was all sort of talk going around… fire Claude Julien, kick Tim Thomas out of goal on a permanent basis, etc… the most interesting storyline was the question of whether or not the B’s should have traded for Ilya Kovalchuk.  Kovie is one of the most natural goal-scorers around and there’s no doubt that that’s the one area that the Bruins are truly lacking.  It’s been a long time since we’ve had a Cam Neely or Bill Guerin, so why not get a guy who can score 40-50 a year without much effort?  Well, we didn’t because he’d have only had been a late-season rental.  The team would have had to have given up a lot of great players (not to mention the all-important Toronto pick in next year’s draft) to get it done for a guy who in all likelihood will not even come back to play in the NHL next year; rumor has it he’ll go pick up a huge contract back in Russia.  In my opinion, the Bruins have actually built a great team that only needs a fire lit under them – or that high draft pick next season – to finally get back into the Stanley Cup Finals.  And believe me, that’ll be a sight to see.

My only hope is that the coming break doesn’t mess up any new rhythm the guys have.  They’ve finally started winning again, and it feels good.  We’ve got a lot of guys in the Olympics, but it’s the rest of the team getting their rest that makes me more optimistic than not.  At this point, all we need to do is make the playoffs… sometimes, crazy things happen when you’re there.

If you like Bruins blogging, go check out HubHockey.  It’s not the best written, but like NoMaas does for the Yankees, it’s funny, smart, and goes against the grain from time to time.  It also helps that it’s probably the only Bruins blog that is actually updated every game.  And check out the fight log!!