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There’s a deleted scene from Pulp Fiction in which Uma Thurman explains to John Travolta that there are two types of people in the world:  Beatles people and Elvis people.  Everybody knows who they like better.  Sure, you can like both, but you don’t like one more than the other.  And while I may share my birthday with the King, “Burning’ Love” is about as close as I get to being a fan.  Give me the Fab Four any day of the week, although I’d rather the Stones… but that’s another story altogether, isn’t it?

Why do I bring this up?  Well, back last September, a box set I’ve been waiting for ages to get had finally been released.  I didn’t really know that it was being developed, I just knew that it had to happen some day.  Sure enough, George Martin had emerged from Abbey Road like Moses with the tablets.  Only instead of some guidelines handed down from God, it was the complete works of the Gods of Rock, remastered in stereo.  Although I owned a couple of the Beatles’ albums already, their presentation left something to be desired.

The Beatles Stereo Box Set is part of a balanced breakfast.

Now, I don’t consider myself to be an audiophile.  but I know when something sounds like crap.  I can’t buy a set of headphones without trying them first, I was a freak about finding “good” cassette tapes in junior high, and I once spent a beautiful spring weekend indoors, re-ripping 200 CDs for my iPod at 256 kbps instead of 128.  So I don’t know, maybe I am an audiophile.  That’s why this set got me excited.  Finally, we’d have the Beatles in true stereo, cleaned up and mixed to sound as good as possible.  After about a month of listening here and there, I’m happy that I spent the money on it.

Now, sure, I was skeptical.  Just how good was this thing going to be?  Could it really sound like I always imagined “perfect” recordings of these songs could sound?  I’d read a couple of reviews that seemed to point me in that direction.  I figured that, at worst, it’d be the albums with the levels turned up and the left and right channels panned this way and that.  At best, though… well, I couldn’t put a price on it.  Considering that Amazon had a pretty good deal going on, I took a chance.

When it arrived, I was immediately impressed by the packaging.  The box is simple, and very neatly carries all sixteen discs in their cardboard slipcases.  I’m still a fan of the jewel case, but I guess that the slipcases were meant to be like record sleeves.  Each one is stuffed with great photos of the band, as well.  Almost too nice to do anything with.  It’s all super-glossy;  you’ll want to hold everything by the edges even if you’re not an obsessive collector-type.  I popped all the CDs into the computer and ripped them in an afternoon.  Listening on the laptop speakers, I could tell that everything sounded good, but I knew that the true test was to play them in the car.

That’s when I was able to truly appreciate the work that went into the set.  My favorite time to listen is while I drive, and I decided to throw The White Album on first.  I was in love all over again with my favorite Beatles album.  ”Back in the USSR” screeches in and it sounds great.  No more of the “flat” sound of the mono mix that I’d heard for years.  Sure, I loved my old copy, but this was like having Paul in the car with me.  And the whole album sounds this good.  I was never a big “Bungalow Bill” fan, but the new mix absolutely surrounded me, Paul’s bass seemed to envelop me, and the voices of the whole band (plus Yoko) were alive… sounding like they were having a good time, even.  ”While My Guitar Gently Weeps” remains George’s masterpiece, and “Helter Skelter,” well… let’s just hope that this thing is kept far away from Charles Manson.

INVISIBLE SKATEBOARDS

I was also dying to get this set because I absolutely HATED the quality of my old copy of Magical Mystery Tour.  I’m very happy to say that “I Am the Walrus” is everything it should have ever been, not the muddy and even choppy mess that I used have to put up with.  ”Strawberry Fields Forever” is probably the track that I can say is the finest achievement of this set:  I heard things in this mix that I didn’t even know were supposed to be there.  From what I understand, nothing was added on throughout the set, which probably speaks volumes to the job done.

I won’t bother to analyse Sgt. Pepper’s because to be honest, I’m not a huge fan of that album.  I will say that it sounds great, and it deserves to.  As for Abbey Road, well… it was probably the easiest to remaster seeing as how it was recorded in stereo to begin with.  Accordingly, it sounds incredible and the “second side” is more majestic than ever.

The older, EMI/Parlophone/Capitol albums are great in their own right, but I’m not as big a fan of the stuff pre-Rubber Soul, so I can’t really tell you one from the other.  Still, I’m glad to have all of it.  I mean… it’s the Beatles.  By default, it’s better than a good chunk of my iPod.  There’s really too much to cover here.  I haven’t even watched the DVD with “mini-documentaries” about the albums.

If you’re a Beatlemaniac, you might do well to invest in this set.  You owe it to yourself if tape hiss or inferior mixing practices distract you from a good song.  Or if you want “Eleanor Rigby” stuck in your head again.  Hearing is believing, and you’ll believe that the Beatles are better than ever… at least until science invents a way to just plug music right into your brain.  Don’t worry though, that won’t happen for a few months.

As far as I’m concerned, I am pleasantly surprised with the way things turned out in music in 2009.  Part of that might have to do with the fact that I didn’t go into the year with high expectations.  I went into things with a “let’s see what happens” kind of attitude, and it made for some discoveries as well as new ways to look at old favorites.

A couple of weeks ago I did a huge writeup on the old site about Steely Dan.  They made up so much of my listening time this year (last.fm is the greatest) that it seems like everybody else was robbed of plays.  But forget statistics and my obsessive/compulsive need to see how many times I listened to Joy Division over the last 12 months.  Let’s start with my album of the year…

Glasgow's Finest

I love Franz Ferdinand, and the funny thing is that Greg does, too.  We have a big overlap of musical tastes, but we are fanatical about the Scottish quartet.  They are everything a good rock band should be: energetic, exciting, funny, and danceable.  Tonight: Franz Ferdinand is their third album, and it’s an upgrade over the first two, which were essentially one and the same.  What sets Tonight apart?  Greg might’ve put it best when he said, “It’s like when the Beatles did Revolver.  They did a bunch of songs that were all Beatles songs, but they did something different to all of them.  Each one works on its own, and they all go together really well.”  So while “Turn It On” and “No You Girls” are stock rippers, they put on faux-reggae guitars for “Send Him Away” and mild synths on the second half of “Live Alone,” you still know, with or without the “I’m-more-macho-than-I-look” vocals of Alex Kapranos, that this is still FF.  At least until the epic funkified second half of “Lucid Dreams,” which was the biggest surprise in all of the album’s 43 minutes, and maybe of any new music all year.  It’s a shame that Spin Magazine forgot about this one in their year-end round-up.  Next time these guys come around, I’m going.

In other music this year, Yeah Yeah Yeahs also did some reinventing.  It’s Blitz! is a great mix of their usual loud sound, but Nick Zinner is now manipulating a synth more than his guitar at the insistence of Karen O.  Unbeknownst to me, YYY recorded some of the album at Long View Farm Studios, which is literally minutes from my home.  I have my own code when it comes to Long View visitors: Leave ‘em alone.  They came here for a reason, and that’s to record in peace.  It goes without saying that had I known, I would have abandoned this ethos on the spot and shown up every day until I got to give Karen a hug and high five Nick and Brian.  The whole CD is great, but if you don’t think “Dragon Queen” is the best track, then you obviously don’t think that dance music is the direction that YYY should go.

Jack White was busy, too.  But instead of starting another band in which to showcase his guitar chops, he started a band in which to show us that he’s really good at the drums, too.  After joining forces with the smoldering Alison Mosshart (The Kills) and the Raconteurs’ “Little” Jack Lawrence and Dean Fertita, Jack created The Dead Weather.  The result is what you’d expect: it’s bitchin’.  That’s really the only word there is to describe it.  Imagine combining The Kills with The Raconteurs and take Brendan Benson out of the picture.  “Bitchin’” is the word you should be thinking of.  (Note: Brendan is a great songwriter and singer in his own right, but there’s only so much bitchin’ness to go around.)

A couple of new acts caught my eye:  for one, New Zealand’s Pip Brown emerged under the moniker of Ladyhawke, giving us some straight-outta-the-80’s tunes.  Her “My Delirium” and “Paris Is Burning” are required listening.  Brooklyn is constantly churning out handfuls of twee college grads at a time, but The Pains of Being Pure at Heart really caught my ear.  They’re essentially The Smiths without being morose, and had they existed while I was in high school, I’d have owned a lot more sweater vests.  I’ll just leave it at that.

Meanwhile, some old faves got back in the game.  Pearl Jam, Wilco, and The Flaming Lips all put out great new efforts.  PJ’s Backspacer is their most vital and fun (!) work in about a decade and Wilco (The Album) is just plain good.  The Lips’ double-sized Embryonic is surprisingly dark and experimental.  But when it comes to Wayne Coyne and company, the more experimental, the better.  Long-time fans only.

Sure, there’s more, but that’s the gist of it.  2010 looks to be exciting for a guy like me:  R.E.M., Radiohead, and CAKE are all working on new music right now, and The White Stripes are due for an album, too (and maybe a movie?).  But it’s not only a new year to look forward to in music… it’s  a new DECADE!  The Aughts are over, it’s time for… Awwww, what are we gonna call this decade?  We had a hard enough time naming the one we just got through!  I can only assume the “Teens,” but we have to wade through three years until that’s relevant…

Let’s not worry about it for now.  Just turn up the music.