Live Blogging the 2010 Nathan’s Hot Dog Eating Contest
Guess what, America? Amid all of the parades, pool parties, and fireworks displays, there’s a party going down in one of the happiest corners of the Earth, New York’s Coney Island. Just like last year, I’m going to do my best to caputre the event as I see it. Can Joey Chestnut continue to do his nation proud on her 234th birthday, or will a new champion rise?
Fun fact: 669.25 hot dogs were eaten in total by all of last year’s competitors.
Hail to the King.
11:58: Started this. SportsCenter is showing the first of the pre-game material. Joey Chestnut is, of course, the favorite, and they showed him limbering up by massaging his esophagus. Have you EVER heard someone talk about massaging an esophagus? Anyway, seems that Kobayashi is NOT going to be competing this year. Something tells me that this is a fake-out. Then again, I refused to believe that Eddie Guerrero was dead and I thought it was all a ruse to bring him back at WrestleMania. Then he’d have come out in the middle of the thing and go up to whoever he was feuding with at the time and go, “Thought I was dead, right? Well guess what, homes? I lieeeeed!” That never happened, he was actually dead. But I digress.
12:03: Kobayashi is at a “labor impass” with the competitive eating people. Seeing how much they’re talking about this, I think they’re working up to a last minute swoop-in by Kobayashi. They just had a graphic comparing Michael Phelps’ daily intake to Joey’s 68 dogs from last year. Joey ate more than twice the calories Mike did.
12:07: Heinz is, once again, sponsoring this shindig. Last week I received the greatest interpretation of the “no ketchup” rule. “Never put pureed tomato on pureed meat.” – Caitlin Sullivan
12: 11: The guys and gals just got off the bus. I love that they get a police escort. Joey looks confident as ever, but not cocky. This crowd is absolutely enormous. I thought last year was huge, but this is ridiculous. And they brought vuvuzelas. Tim Janus and Pat Bertoletti are my picks as Joey’s real competition.
12:15: ESPN 3D ad. Can you imagine this event in 3D? I’d rather not.
12:17: I missed the number to text whether you think the record will fall today. I think it will, because I think it’s been broken every year for the last five or six years. Oh, there’s a graphic… It’s pretty close to it. I guess two years ago there was a dip, probably because of the legendary “eat off.”
12:19: Piece on eating techniques. ”Tokyo Style” vs. “The Bean Bag.” Tokyo Style is when you separate the bun and the dog, dunking the bun while you chow the dog. Remember, you can only dunk for five seconds. I’d hate to have a controversial dunking penalty stand in the way of a new record, like a close call at first on the 27th out of a perfect game. Bean Bag is when you do the jump-up-and-down thing Joey does.
12:23: There’s a new guy by the name of Bob Shoudt who has apparently beaten Joey a few times in the past year (in other events, not hot dogs). Intriguing. He doesn’t look like a threat, though.
12:25: The eaters will be making their way down “The Gauntlet” on their way to the stage this year, getting up close and personal with the fans. Very nice. I just hope they all get escorts so as not to slow things down. This shit’s got a schedule to keep.
12:30: I hear Thomas Dolby, and that means it’s time to start introducing the competitors. Crazy Legs Conti looks like he’s just happy to be there. Dude’s not in it to win it anymore, but without him, it just wouldn’t feel the same. Some guy with a mannequin head. Badlands Booker is already sweating through his shirt. I love how they make Sonya “Black Widow” Thomas out to be evil. Fran says “This is the only time she eats, I think.” Pat Bertoletti is awesome. Tim Janus is ready. Joey is looking pumped, “Baba O’Reilly” once again. That belt gets nicer every year. Looks like it’s actually worth something now. The crowd is going NUTS. This is going to be nothing short of epic.
12: 42: Kobayashi is in the crowd! I feel like they’re coaxing him out of there. He looks like he’s going to an AFI concert.
12:43: UNDERWAY! Joey is just going for it right out of the gate. Crazy Legs is wearing the Snorricam this time. Joey is in the lead after a minute by 3. Now 4. Janus is doing a helluva job. Black Widow’s technique requires a warning before they cut to her, I think. 2. 5 minutes in, Joey’s still got the lead. Sonya’s closing in on the top 3. Bertoletti’s pacing himself but he hasn’t been in the running thus far. Joey’s doing 7.5 DPM (Dogs Per Minute) right now. Bertoletti’s in 3rd after 4 minutes. Looks very very hot down there, hope this doesn’t pose a problem. Joey’s slowing down a bit. Not on pace for 70 halfway through… but he could still pull it off. Kobayashi is still looking intense in the crowd. Those judges are right in the blow-zone. Joey’s got a 9 dog lead on Janus with 4 minutes to go. He’s just plowing through. Janus is doing his best… maybe a little too good. Some just came out of his nose. Shake it off, Tim! Lots of chants for Joey. About a minute to go, and it’s no contest. Joey just needs to coast. ”Barring a reversal” he’ll walk away with it. Wait, there he goes! He’s bringing it on home! It’s over!
12:53: Joey starts chugging the Pepto. Gotta say, without Kobayashi, this was kind of boring. No head-to-head, down-to-the-wire action. Final tally gives Joey 54, Janus 45, and Bertoletti 37.
12:57: Post-meal interview, Joey says he didn’t drink enough water and he was feeling a little dehydrated. On Kobayashi: “If he was a real man, he’d be on the stage.” OH SNAP. You gonna take that, Kobayashi? Are you?
Well, good show all around, but it was missing that edge-of-your seat feeling. But where else can you do this? Where but in America? Nowhere.
EDIT: Kobayashi was arrested after the competition! Go check it out for yourself. He still has that Gary Oldman in The Fifth Element look to him.
